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#PrayForPeshawar

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Hi. I am a 20 year old Hindu girl from India who would want to talk about the recent attacks on 16th December 2014 in Peshawar, Pakistan.

Firstly, “INNALILAHI WA INNA ILAYHI RAJIOON” to the little bundles of joy those are now deceased. May Allah (swt) take good care of them in Jannah.

16th December will now be considered a black day both in India and Pakistan for the rest of forever.

2 years back on this ill-fated day, the Nirbhaya/Damini rape case occurred in New Delhi and it was an act of shame by few men who wanted mere pleasure. The girl died few days later at a hospital as she succumbed to her fatal wounds cause by those men.

2 years later,

One wanted to become a Doctor, one maybe a Lawyer. But after 10:45AM all those dreams were killed and so were those 131 children.

Yesterday again was an act of revenge by the so called Tehreek-e-Taliban on innocent children in Peshawar which is situated in Pakistan. Approximately 141 people passed away and out of them were 132 children and few teachers including the Headmistress who gave her life trying to save those helpless kids.

WHY STUDENTS? WHY CHILDREN? What have innocent children done to you and your families? Did children come and shoot at you? Did they wish ill upon you? Chanting “Allahu Akbar” right before shooting children does NOT make you human. Forcing children to see their own teachers’ burn in front of them does NOT make you human. This isn’t revenge. This is an understatement.

They were innocent little souls who had no idea they would be killed within minutes at their own school. A place where a child goes to meet his friends, to study, to learn something new, to have fun and enjoy. A school is not a war-zone, but you terrorists have made it one. A set of 2 people come together in unity and give birth to the future generation. That future generation is expected to grow and make their parents proud. Sadly, that hasn’t happened in this Army Public School.

Animals have a reason to kill. It may be for food or to protect themselves. People killing children are beyond words can define. It’s true that humanity is lost the minute people start a protest that says killing children is wrong.

The attack by the Taliban was in retaliation for an ongoing Pakistan Army operation against them and its allies in the North Waziristan tribal area. The TTP (Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan) said many of their family members had been killed in the campaign, and said the attack on the school was in revenge for those deaths.

The time line of the attack goes as follows:

  1. 05:30 GMT – Attack beganwhen a group of seven attackers, reportedly in military uniforms, entered the school.
  2. 07:11 GMT – TTP claims The gunmen were reportedly under orders to shoot older students.
  3. 07:25 GMT – Evacuation of children and teachers begins with a rescue process underway. Nearby schools start closing down.
  4. 10:47 GMT – Reports sayas many as 10 loud explosions heard at the school. Reporters say the operation underway is reaching a climax.
  5. 12:35 GMT – Eleven more teachers rescued from the school.
  6. 13:14 GMT – Another injured child succumbs to his wounds at Leady Reading Hospital in Peshawar, raising the death toll to 131.
  7. 14:12 GMT – Last gunman killed. Operation over.

Source: http://www.aljazeera.com/news/asia/2014/12/fighters-attack-army-run-school-pakistan-20141216742794184.html

If anyone from Pakistan would be reading this, I, Shreya Roy would like to send my heartfelt condolences to you people and the parents of the deceased in Pakistan all the way from Hyderabad, India. The beautiful country that have been shamed by people such as these terrorists, I ask you, the general public, to raise your voice. Raise your voice against the Government and demand answers for the souls of those departed. Blood is red for a person who dies on this side of the border or on the other side. A child’s blood is the purest and that has been shed in the most disgusting and inhumane way possible. I only hope for peace in your country and that can be done by the public speaking up for justice.

Do ask your Government to tighten up security, to remove all these terrorists that hide like foxes all around your beautiful country. I would also like to add, Islam is a beautiful religion. I know this being a Hindu and your fellow neighbour. No one can judge Islam just because there are so many Muslim terror groups out there. Not all Muslims are bad and this should be known that by blaming the wrong people does not help at all. This could be me dying someday, it could be my future children, it could be anyone.

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There are so many things we attach to the people we love; songs, movies, things, people, actors, food and so much more. You can’t go through those things without thinking of that certain someone. When it’s all over you have the memories left. You see the same things every day and you’re gonna think of them. It’s painful and you choose to smile through that pain.

I attach a lot of things to my ex which I’d be naming for instance,

Beautiful & soulful tracks which I barely listen to any more, the great game of Football that he loves and which I still am courageously watching everyday (FIFA World Cup), an Indian mouthwatering delicacy called the “Chicken Biriyani” which I’ve kind of stopped eating nowadays, playing few games on the iPad cause they were all suggested by him (I’ve even deleted them), cuddling my one and only soft toy Teddy because I’d bought it for him and few movies like Don Jon, This is War, 2 States (Bollywood).

It’s almost a month since the breakup, a month of no response from the other end and a month of silence between us. It’s hard when someone special ignores you but harder pretending not to care. It’s difficult for me and so many others to look at things and be quite normal about it. Just like the rain falls because the cloud can no longer handle the weight, tears too fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain.

Someday they’ll realize the damage they’ve caused and the same day we’ll find the need to move on. There’ll be a day where we’ll relate these same things to new people and I hope I find my day soon.

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Silent Treatment

silence

 

I’m someone who won’t give up without an answer. I’m sure many of you wouldn’t too. A fight takes place, something strange happens, an unnatural occurrence; doesn’t it make you curious?

It sure as hell makes me want to get to the bottom of it.

Silent treatment is the worst one can experience from the opponent after a fight. What if the fight had an answer which you don’t know? What if there was an untold reason behind it?

You’d want to know right?

Take the situation of a guy and girl who were in a relationship through long distance and broke up later on. The guy stated irrational reasons and left the girl puzzled out of her senses.

All she had was his contact number, his Facebook ID and his WhatsApp.

He stayed countries away from her and all she could do is contact him through his number or some social media but he deleted his WhatsApp, deactivated Facebook and changed his contact number, the reason being? She didn’t know.

She didn’t have any clue. She made her friends call him, he didn’t answer. She called him later on, the number was unavailable. Crying out of her mind, she decided to give it time. How much time? She didn’t know.

The silent treatment she had faced from him was beyond her mind. She texted him every 2 days just to see he hadn’t replied. She carried that fake smile all around. Her search was futile and in vain.

He left her broken beyond repair and the last message he’d sent her was,

“Don’t change your number, I’ll call you and we’ll talk about this”

The only memory that now remains.

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Him

Sometimes I wish I didn’t think much

 

Sometimes I wish I didn’t think at all

 

Every damn memory, every small feeling

 

The constant picture of his face

 

Pinned to my heart and mind

 

 

 

From getting up to his voice every morning

 

To sleeping to his goodnight

 

Preparing my everyday schedule according to his

 

Complaining about my daily affairs, he’d gently listen

 

Always loved it when I‘d talk more

 

He begged to hear my voice

 

 

 

I’d stop all my activities just for him

 

For us to have some time

 

Distance made it hard

 

But the love was true

 

We could talk about anything

 

His curiosity for me was always adorable

 

 

 

All the late night Skype calls and voice notes

 

We could just start at anything

 

To talking about our friends to the food we ate, football, life and so on

 

Laughing till our stomach’s hurt

 

The crazy nonsensical conversations

 

 

 

The thought of him being far always killed

 

He’d tell me he’s within my heart at all times

 

I’d become a little miserable

 

The amount of doubts in my head

 

But everything was based on trust

 

 

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Trust is a strong word

 

It could be easily crumpled

 

I had faith on him and God but

 

Infidelity could be around the corner

 

That isn’t an easy thought to kill

 

 

 

Honesty was appreciated

 

Rudeness wasn’t

 

The tiny fights we’d have

 

They’d always end before the day

 

We’d be sorry and apologise profusely

 

Realising that we’re better than this

 

 

 

All those promises of never leaving

 

All the agreements we had

 

Everything changed in a night

 

The frustration, the tears, the arguments

 

It was all heated up

 

 

 

The assumptions from the corner of my brain

 

Everything was crawling right back up

 

All that over thinking

 

What I never wanted to be true

 

Might have been the reason for this

 

 

 

He left, he dumped me

 

I never knew why

 

I tried to stop thinking

 

The reason was the maddest

 

But there was an untold truth

 

 

 

A week passed by

 

Things have been good and bad

 

I now look at the future

 

It surely holds something good

 

Something that would make me believe again

 

Something where I’d feel myself again

 

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Crying

 

 

Does crying help? How does it?

 

Personally speaking, it does for me. I can easily let go of my emotions by crying it out to myself or to someone. Everyone might oppose to crying because of the famous line “Crying doesn’t help anyone”, but what if it does?

 

Crying can be for both happy and sad reasons. You might cry for a few minutes if you’re really happy or proud about something. You can cry for hours if you’ve lost someone or something. All the pent-up feelings you have inside yourself, how do you want to let that go? No one should keep them bottled up. It harms you. It makes one over think any situation. The best remedy is to remove those feelings completely. Have a clear mind. You should accept what has happened. You can’t undo the past. Even if you do, it wouldn’t be the same nor feel the same.

 

I honestly talk to myself out loud if I have to stop myself from crying. I stroll around my room telling myself to stop. I look up at the ceiling to hold back the tears running down my cheeks. They’re literally unstoppable and uncontrollable. Once you break down, it is hard to stop. Thus, I end up on my bed, face the sheets and weep it all out. How hard is it to stop those distant memories to flood back into your mind again? Especially when each and every thing you look at reminds you of them? You feel your minds playing games with you. Tricky games of reminding you of those days bygone. You’re just lost in your own world, your own bubble that broke.

 

The worst type of crying is when you don’t wanna make any noise so that someone doesn’t hear you and ask you anything. You cry silently, tears trickling down your face and you put your hands to your face and shut your mouth. Those miserable sobs; you feel dejected and gloomy. Well, gloomy is an understatement.

 

How can you call it love when you’re crying more than you’re smiling? What if you weren’t crying more than you were smiling? You were smiling and laughing after a long time. “Nothing lasts forever”. I don’t know whether that’s true but crying about not having a forever does give me and many others some unknown satisfaction. I rather leave that unknown, a mystery. 

 

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Thinking Of You

Another one penned from 2011.

The feeling of being together kills me.

Cause it was a dream

Where I break free,

My emotions

Find their way.

Beyond basic happiness and joy.

I think I needed you.

You seemed to be around.

But.

It was just but’s…

Those eyes,

That gazed into mine.

Time to time,

Those words,

That kept me going,

Were blades

In summer rain,

You,

You were my shattered hopes

Which were never to repair.

It hurts to be so close,

And not yet know

How you felt.

Curiosity blinded me.

Excuses were made.

Just to know

What were those thoughts.

“Give up”,

Was all you said.

Tears were all I had.

The end was just there.

You couldn’t wait no more.

Feelings suppressed,

I held on to mine,

Again and again.

Feeling the pain.

Years down the line,

Smiling.

I never had to feel the same.

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