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Final Goodbye

what a wonderful poem. ❤

The Fickle Heartbeat

Final-Goodbye

Shared by alanah leger.

You are leaving so this is the final goodbye.
I’ll try my best to hold back the tears I want to cry.
Your journey through life now begins.
Please don’t forget my love will never end.

Like a lion, you are king of my heart.
Like a painter, you are my art.
Like an open fire burning out the cold,
you are the one I want to hold.

Although you must leave,
it is my love you will always receive.
So when your nights are cold,
and you think no one is there,
give this poem a stare,
and you’ll find I will always care.

On those restless nights,
when all you do is toss and turn,
think about me as a candle,
I will light up your heart,
because it’s with you I choose to burn.

Deeper than the ocean,
more powerful than…

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Depression

If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation. Depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness there’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest noblest and best things you will ever do.

depression

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Monologues #8

Another monologue this week from GREY’S Season 8, Episode 14: All You Need Is Love

There are times in our lives when love really does conquer all: exhaustion, sleep deprivation, anything. And then there are those times when it seems like love brings us nothing but pain.
We’re always looking for ways to ease the pain. Sometimes we ease the pain by making the best of what we have. Sometimes is by losing ourselves in the moment. And sometimes all we need to do to ease the pain is call a simple truce.

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Monologues #7

Terribly apologise for posting a month late but here goes out another Monologue from my favourite show, Grey’s Anatomy!

Season 6, Episode 24: “Death and all his friends”

 

The human life is made up of choices. Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. And then there are the choices that matter. Love or hate. To be a hero or to be a coward. To fight or to give in. To live. Or die. Live or die. That’s the important choice. And it’s not always in our hands.”

“Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. Live or die. Hero or coward. Fight or give in. I’ll say it again to make sure you hear me. The human life is made up of choices. Live or die. That’s the most important choice. And it’s not always in our hands.

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Forever

The Fickle Heartbeat

forever

A beautiful feature post by Single Strides.

I want to know that if I were to love you, I’d see it in your eyes before I heard it in your voice. I want to know that if I were to need you, you’d be running through the door before I ever asked. I want to know that if I were to want you, you’d be holding my hand tighter than before. I want to know that if I were to fall, you would not catch me, but would drop down and lay beside me… Forever equals on un-solid ground.

I want to know that if I were to burn of passion, you’d be the one fueling the fire and keeping it lit for eternity. I want to know that if I was to disappear, that you would be where I was going before I arrived. I want to know…

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Shock.

 

If anyone’s been following my blog, you’ll all know that I’m single & in the recovering phase from my last break up.

Basically, this article is about the ‘shock’ I received at 2AM in the morning & I actually don’t know whether that shock makes me stronger or pulls me more into depression.

This break up had already caused a lot of emotional damage but writing, talking to my friends and praying about it helped me a lot in coping up. If you read “Them Feels” and “Waiting” you’ll understand a lot more about my ex.
He chose not to respond or talk to me after he had dumped me & hung me on a thin thread or rather he threw me off a cliff. I was confused and depressed for a long time & here and there the little things around me struggled to keep me sane.

While talking to his best-friend last night, he suddenly mentioned my ex’s girlfriend. My mind was at a whirlpool that second. Girlfriend? What? Where? How? What did I miss?
And I recall exactly a week back when he mentioned to his best-friend that he missed ME, who in turn mentioned it to me.

So there you have it, he had a girlfriend right after 2 months of breaking up with me.
I think I broke down for the next 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes at 2AM. There were hours wasted on him with my tears previously but last night it was just 5 minutes. The good person I thought he was, vanished from my mind. All my confusion about the situation seemed crystal clear. I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t dwell any more on his topic. I instantly knew I had to get a grip and move on. All this while I’d wasted time that waits for none on someone who was already happily ever after dating someone else.

I don’t know whether to regret all the times I’ve prayed for his good health and happiness or to still think “oh I’m the nice girl who cares”. I don’t know whether to regret all the times I’ve wasted my time & patience on him. I don’t know.
The almost 5 months spent with him were bliss & now it feels like I’ve got sucked into a black hole after he left. Love is kind, love is happiness but love is pain. That searing pain right through your heart. That is love.

Of course, I reiterate the fact; Never expect anything from anyone, but I still couldn’t give up completely on the part that he wouldn’t come back. I thought he’d message me once.

To be honest, I felt like crap only for those 5 minutes and again when I woke up this morning. I’m at least glad I woke up. The distant picture of his face washed over my mind as I walked myself to the wash room. The thought that he’d found someone else when the last thing he’d told me was he always loved me and he’d call me one day. I felt eerily strange and resumed my daily activities not giving a care.

I survived the shock I received last night. I’m happy I didn’t react how I usually did to such things. I’m happy I woke up fine today. I’m happy to know I still have a few good people who care about me. I’m happy I didn’t lose my temper & I’m still sane. This shock actually gave me a chance to stand up. Today I didn’t bother shedding a tear. I chose to be happy.

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Eid Mubarak!

moonsighting

 

So its Eid finally! The holy month of Ramadan has finally ended & hopefully the world suffering also ends soon with it.

I’ve spent most of my Eid’s in Dubai (Middle East) where it’s their biggest festival of all times! 16 years of spending Eid there & now in India; there’s a huge difference in the way people celebrate in both places. UAE’s a small country. Not that small, don’t take me wrong but compared to a huge country like India? Yes.

In Dubai, Eid was so beautiful. The holidays, the half days at school, iftaar parties, applying henna on your hands, shopping, sales & so on. The whole month, you couldn’t eat outside until Iftaar i.e. 6/6:30pm.

The 3 day holiday was the best part! All the malls and roads were beautifully lighted for this auspicious festival & everyone would greet each other saying “Eid Mubarak”.
In India, there is a large population of Muslims but you don’t see shops being closed till 6 in the evening cause the place is so diverse.
Dubai is diverse too but their Government is a Monarchy & India has a Democratic Government.

I miss getting boxes of sweets and greeting cards from Dad’s office colleagues who were all mostly Muslims. I miss roaming around and buying new clothes in the decorated malls. I miss going and sitting inside half-shut restaurants & wait to get my takeaway. I miss waking up at 4 cause of the early morning prayer at the Masjid. I miss having fun with my Muslim friends cause they used to get “Eidi” & treat all their friends. I miss the local food during Ramadan and Eid.
I basically miss a lot of things back home.

Being in India, honestly doesn’t feel like Eid at all. Its the same monotonous routine around me. At few places yes restaurants are lighted up, traditional food is being served, mosques and masjid’s being decorated, etc.

Ramadan is a beautiful and holy month where every Muslim man or woman, fast from sunrise till sunset. It is a time to purify the soul, refocus their attention on Allah, practice self-sacrifice, etc but it’s more than that. It is a month of forgiveness. They make peace with those who have wronged them, strengthen their ties with family and friends, leave their bad habits and cleanse their lives, thoughts and feelings for an entire month  from impurities and re-focus one’s self on the worship of God. The Arabic word for “fasting” (sawm) means “to refrain” and it means not only refraining from food and drinks, but also from evil actions, thoughts and words. Fasting is not only a physical thing, but is the total commitment of the person’s body and soul to the spirit of the fast.

I hope everyone’s had a good month of Ramadan, specially all my Muslim friends. Wish all of you a blessed Eid Mubarak ❤ Hope Allah grants you and your familiy with bundles of joy & happiness. Please don’t forget to put in a prayer along with yours for those who have suffered in this holy month of Ramadan. May their souls rest in peace.
Otherwise, have a great & happy holiday everyone!