Him

Sometimes I wish I didn’t think much

 

Sometimes I wish I didn’t think at all

 

Every damn memory, every small feeling

 

The constant picture of his face

 

Pinned to my heart and mind

 

 

 

From getting up to his voice every morning

 

To sleeping to his goodnight

 

Preparing my everyday schedule according to his

 

Complaining about my daily affairs, he’d gently listen

 

Always loved it when I‘d talk more

 

He begged to hear my voice

 

 

 

I’d stop all my activities just for him

 

For us to have some time

 

Distance made it hard

 

But the love was true

 

We could talk about anything

 

His curiosity for me was always adorable

 

 

 

All the late night Skype calls and voice notes

 

We could just start at anything

 

To talking about our friends to the food we ate, football, life and so on

 

Laughing till our stomach’s hurt

 

The crazy nonsensical conversations

 

 

 

The thought of him being far always killed

 

He’d tell me he’s within my heart at all times

 

I’d become a little miserable

 

The amount of doubts in my head

 

But everything was based on trust

 

 

Image

 

 

Trust is a strong word

 

It could be easily crumpled

 

I had faith on him and God but

 

Infidelity could be around the corner

 

That isn’t an easy thought to kill

 

 

 

Honesty was appreciated

 

Rudeness wasn’t

 

The tiny fights we’d have

 

They’d always end before the day

 

We’d be sorry and apologise profusely

 

Realising that we’re better than this

 

 

 

All those promises of never leaving

 

All the agreements we had

 

Everything changed in a night

 

The frustration, the tears, the arguments

 

It was all heated up

 

 

 

The assumptions from the corner of my brain

 

Everything was crawling right back up

 

All that over thinking

 

What I never wanted to be true

 

Might have been the reason for this

 

 

 

He left, he dumped me

 

I never knew why

 

I tried to stop thinking

 

The reason was the maddest

 

But there was an untold truth

 

 

 

A week passed by

 

Things have been good and bad

 

I now look at the future

 

It surely holds something good

 

Something that would make me believe again

 

Something where I’d feel myself again

 

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